On first arriving in Alice Springs
Went to a cafe. Then, at my brother's urging, went to see a film about a dude called 'Mr Magorium' whose principal dramatic function was to have a name that rhymed with 'Wonder Emporium'. Then went to have lunch at a Subway.
The natural sublimity and awesomeness nature of this place is almost overwhelming...
Attack of the Slightly Outdated Murals!
I remember when I was a kid, one year at Balranald Central School they made us all walk two blocks to the town oval and paint a mural on the big water tank there. Another time they made the entire Year 8 art class paint the wall outside the woodwork and technology building, perhaps to add a decorative effect to the gigantic square of concrete that it bordered.
Driving into Alice Springs I was reminded of this - the town was covered with these sort of murals. One random back-street wall had Astroboy and the Powerpuff Girls in prominent positions. Most garishly of all, the Todd River Mall was graced by a gigantic painted mural of an Aboriginal in a loincloth.
EUAN: I need a battery.
LACHLAN: You need a what?
EUAN: I need a watch battery.
LACHLAN: A watch badger? What is a watch badger?
TIM: A badger who watches. Just like a watch dog.
LACHLAN: Oh yeah, obviously. I dunno. Is there any place in Alice Springs that sells badgers? Tim, you have watch badgers in Melbourne, don't you?
TIM: Oh yes. I have given birth to badgers.
LACHLAN: We'll get some badgers after lunch. At the local badgery.
If on Christmas Day you decide to go playing frisbee in the pool, don't be too surprised if the dogs join you. Also, they may just be better than you at catching the frisbee.
From henceforth, I shall be known as Tim 'Bested By A Dog' Train.
LACHLAN: Would you like another beer?
LACHLAN: I'll take that as a yes.
(For time of conversation, please insert the words 'Christmas Eve', 'Christmas Morning before breakfast', 'Christmas morning during breakfast', 'Anytime during Christmas day', 'Christmas evening', or any combination thereof.)
- There seem to be a hell of a lot of places up north that are, quite literally, holes. Seriously. They all have names like 'Gap' and 'Gorge' and 'Chasm', and there's even, simply, 'Ellery's Big Hole'. My mother has a photograph of herself by 'Helen's Gap', and on Boxing Day, we all went on an excursion to 'Emily Gap' and 'Jessie Gap', basically a hole between two hills. My father at one point made the stunning observation about Emily Gap that 'these rocks are probably metamorphic'. Having performed the rather unimpressive feat of climbing one of the hills at this Gap, I can find nothing to contradict his observation.
- Large indigenous population in Alice Springs. Lots are sitting around on town corners and the like, but there's one place that I noticed about thirty or so indigenous people sitting around. The name? 'Aboriginal Employment Centre'.
- Ever the model of adaptability and thrift, the Alice Springs police station, on renovating their building, simply set up shop outside with a single police van and fold up card table. They work hard, those police force, all right!
- When I asked my brother a bit about the local alcohol laws since the much-touted Federal Government intervention, he explained that many of the indigenous population went outside the border of the town to drink (there's a law against drinking in public places). Alcohol was also banned in Aboriginal communities, for some reason. (I'm guessing because some are based around community housing, and hence designated as 'public place').
Favourite northern linguistic innovation
Wallaby = Wobbly
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2014 (80)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- Great philosophical debates presented in the form ...
- Pious in the skious
- By the terrifying power of blog comments, I condem...
- The sorrows of young Pacman
- NT notes...
- Seen on the noticeboard of the Alice Springs IGA
- Craption contest two!
- Atheist Christmas carols
- Just ask the hat
- Addicted to quitting
- A seasonable song
- A piece of the distraction
- Self-defeating ideas
- Bark, the feral angels sing
- Blood, sweat and tears - with bonus kid!
- An unemergency of some urgency
- Bertie Wooster on human sacrifice
- A belated report on hearing Germaine Greer lecture...
- Employment pages
- Not a winner of the ARIAs
- The ancient lost art of telephonics
- Suggested names for Satanist children
- A curmudgeonly film review
- My entry for the 2008 Foot In Mouth award
- ▼ December (24)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)