Well, if you've been listening to commercial or ABC radio stations in Melbourne, Sydney, Perth, Adelaide, Darwin, Hobart, Canberra, or Brisbane, or anywhere else across Australia, or even if you've been reading the paper, you might have heard the news that Chiko Roll - that most disgusting of all Australian snack foods - is looking for a new model.
For those who are enlightened enough to be unenlightened about this subject, here's what Wikipedia has to say about Chiko:
The Chiko Roll or CHIKO Roll is an Australian savoury snack developed by Francis McEnroe, a boilermaker from Bendigo ... Since the 1940s, Chiko rolls have been advertised by an iconic "girl on a motorbike" (also known as the "Chicko Roll Chick") theme. The girl is usually photographed straddling a large motorcycle, holding the Chiko roll near her crotch in a phallic gesture. The accompanying slogan is "Couldn't you go a Chiko Roll?".
Naturally, I have decided to do the right thing, and bravely volunteer myself for this position:
Dear Chiko Roll makers,
I would like to apply for the position of Chiko Roll girl. I am a 30 year old heterosexual male with stubble. I have not had any previous modelling experience. I have only ever eaten one Chiko Roll. I cannot ride a motorcycle. In addition to this, I have skills in computing and writing, and a Bachelor of Arts and Master of Arts from Sydney University.
However, I believe I can learn on the job.
Tim 'Next Chiko Roll Girl' Train.
With an application like that, how can I fail? Here's hoping my qualifications don't disqualify me for this important job.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2015 (81)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- State of the notion speech
- Inappropriate job applications
- Your malaprop is apropos, sir...
- Criticising a grain of dust on the Mona Lisa's nos...
- Dangling modifier of the day!
- Bad advice, it's better than no advice
- Reflections on the vanity of human wishes
- Doctor Who for the blue-rinse set
- Communist furniture, and other terrors
- Supercilious web quiz of the day!
- Yet another misleading title, I'm afraid
- The Tower of Scrabel
- Send in the hounds
- Lesson for the day!
- Attention, holidaymakers...
- Apology of the year!
- God save our gracious Kingsley!
- Important question!
- Romanticism's long-lost half cousin
- It's good to be the Kingsley
- A concise summary of my body functions during the ...
- Crush your puny opponents and trod their bones ben...
- Unwillingly, a smut meme
- No, really
- Lady Chatterley's Mother
- ▼ February (25)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)