Well, if you've been listening to commercial or ABC radio stations in Melbourne, Sydney, Perth, Adelaide, Darwin, Hobart, Canberra, or Brisbane, or anywhere else across Australia, or even if you've been reading the paper, you might have heard the news that Chiko Roll - that most disgusting of all Australian snack foods - is looking for a new model.
For those who are enlightened enough to be unenlightened about this subject, here's what Wikipedia has to say about Chiko:
The Chiko Roll or CHIKO Roll is an Australian savoury snack developed by Francis McEnroe, a boilermaker from Bendigo ... Since the 1940s, Chiko rolls have been advertised by an iconic "girl on a motorbike" (also known as the "Chicko Roll Chick") theme. The girl is usually photographed straddling a large motorcycle, holding the Chiko roll near her crotch in a phallic gesture. The accompanying slogan is "Couldn't you go a Chiko Roll?".
Naturally, I have decided to do the right thing, and bravely volunteer myself for this position:
Dear Chiko Roll makers,
I would like to apply for the position of Chiko Roll girl. I am a 30 year old heterosexual male with stubble. I have not had any previous modelling experience. I have only ever eaten one Chiko Roll. I cannot ride a motorcycle. In addition to this, I have skills in computing and writing, and a Bachelor of Arts and Master of Arts from Sydney University.
However, I believe I can learn on the job.
Tim 'Next Chiko Roll Girl' Train.
With an application like that, how can I fail? Here's hoping my qualifications don't disqualify me for this important job.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
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