|A PARENTS FIRST VOCABULARY|
Words that will acquire new and unexpected meanings for you as a parent!
|WORD||POSSIBLE EXAMPLES OF USE|
|TIME||What time is it/Is it your turn this time/Everybody should be in bed at this time/What is it this time/I didn't even know this time existed/Time out/This is the absolutely last time I'll.../This is absolutely definitely the last time I'll.../This is absolutely definitely and definitively the last time I'll...|
|DON'T||DON'T pick your nose/don't eat that/don't hit your brother/sister/father/cousin/relative/pet/don't hit that random man on the street/don't do that, you're not a dog/don't throw that, it might break/smash/explode/shout|
|NO||NO, you can't do that/There will be no walking to school in your pyjamas/No, you'll have to put something more on than that/No, not that either/No, you can't do that/No, you can't have that/No, do you think I'm made out of money?/No, I'm not getting out of bed|
|WHERE/WHAT/WHEN||Where did you get that/Where have you been/Where do you think you are going/What is that/What on earth are you doing with that/Just what do you think you are going to do with that/Just when were you planning on telling me that... |
|LOOK||You look like something that cat dragged in/You look worse than something the cat dragged in/Look at that thing the cat dragged in, and then take a look at yourself in the mirror/It's rather difficult to look at you through all that mud/Look at the time, you'd better go to bed.|
|ASK||Ask your mother/Ask your father/You asked your mother and she said ask your father/Ask her again/Why are you asking these things anyway?/I don't mind you asking, but I can't answer that/Mind if I ask just what you've got all over you face...?|
|VOMIT/PEE/POO||(Examples too numerous and disgusting to mention here)|
Friday, June 06, 2008
Cigars all round
I got an email recently from some friends in Hong Kong telling me that they'd just had a baby. Yes, this is how much I keep in touch with friends. I was completely flawed by the news, and I'm still not sure whether to give them congratulations or commisserations. Still, since I'm unlikely to have a baby myself at any point in the near future, for reasons which shall remain undisclosed and obvious, I feel completely unqualified to offer my Hong Kongese friends on advice into their future as parents. So I will anyway.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
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- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
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- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
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- THE SLAMMA!
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- The Snarking of the Hunt
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- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
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- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
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