1) On the time spent making a sandwich for work.
T > t
T = The time spent making the sandwich for work, t = The time the bus arrives on which one is supposed to get with the sandwich that one has made for work. Clearly, T is greater than t.
2) On the amount of food I put on my sandwich.
F > f
Here, F is the amount of food I have actually put on my sandwich, and f is the amount of food I SHOULD put on my sandwich to prevent it overflowing. Here, F is clearly greater than f. (Not to mention s = Sandwich)
3) On the likelihood of tomatoes sploshing on the keyboard.
(p + 5): 100 = 1:1, therefore, p = 95.
In this equation, the unknown variable, p, is the probability that when I unwrap my sandwich at work, a big fat juicy slice of tomato will fly out from my sandwich and splosh face down on my keyboard. From the equation above, we can see that this is pretty bloody likely indeed.
4) Amount of time spent in procrastination at work as an exponential curve:
Here, the vertical axis stands for 'time spent procrastinating', while the horizontal axis stands for 'time of day'.
5) Amount of comments left on blogs while at work:
a = 2b2 + 16c3 - 17d - 4 + n.
a = Amount of blog comments left at work, b = Idle passing whims, c = My propensity to become involved in online arguments, d = The disturbing but increasingly frequent feeling I have at work that someone might be creeping up behind me, and n = an arbitrary, whole number integer.
6) The likelihood of having an excellent day at work:
l = 5/1000i
Here, l equal to the probability that the manager will ask me into his office and offer me a $10 million a week pay rise, after tax; and i = The square root of minus one, an impossible figure - ie - pretty fucking impossible.
7) The power relationships between people at work, expressed as a simple-to-follow flow chart.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2015 (71)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- The link that should have stayed missing
- Braking News!
- The film with the big titulars
- My day, experienced as a series of mathematical eq...
- Currently suffering from unitary personality disor...
- Snortripping yarns!
- Two poems inspired by blog comments
- Possible definition of obsession
- A blogger's review of real life
- Tip for the day
- Isn't science fun!
- An unprejudiced survey of far left opinion
- The ordinary in wild and savage contrast with the...
- Homer is where the heater is
- Games for the neurotic generation
- Sunday Essay: the significance of cows in modern l...
- Six word review
- Cigars all round
- And they didn't even pinch a handkerchief
- And you thought you had it bad
- My whole day, in halfs
- ▼ June (22)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)