(Inspired by the exciting new service offered at a Melbourne train station - spotted by Tim!)
Attention, platform 2. The 5.14 to next week has been delayed. The 5.14 to next week has been delayed. It will now be arriving in 20 minutes.
Good evening passengers. There are significant delays on the Past Travel train line to yesterday evening. Instead of arriving on the previous days within our scheduled time of four minutes, we anticipate significant delays of up to half an hour.
However, en route to yesterday evening we will be stopping at Box Hill station. All passengers who wish to alight there and take alternative transport may do so.
The train to the previous fifteen minutes has been delayed because the driver has just sprained his ankle. We are currently sending a paramedic back two minutes in time to stop the train driver spraining his ankle one minute ago so that the train will arrive on time.
But in the meantime, please enjoy a performance of Lennon and McCartney's 'Yesterday', performed by a Christmas card our driver bought in Tattersalls.
Now arriving at The Crusades. Please alight here for train changes to the Norman Conquest, the Viking Depredations, the Elimination of the Picts, or stay on the line for the previous thirty seconds.
Sir, this is a zone one ticket and does not allow you to travel to the future. I suggest that you get off when we stop at the nineteenth century. Now, I will have to just ask you for some details...
Due to a rail upgrade, this train will now not stop two days ago. However, we will be stopping on the weekend prior to this, where you have the choice of either changing trains, or simply getting off and waiting to arrive at the right time.
Attention passengers: the future-travelling train to Armageddon and the end of all things is currently on time.
Welcome to the future! Sorry about the state of our train station, we'll get around to cleaning it up... tomorrow. Maybe.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2014 (127)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- ► 2009 (290)
- Ice-cream the world!
- Zimbalkavietnovietunionisation , the economic theo...
- Review of a cereal program, in two parts
- Important points to consider
- Inclusive and happy song for colour-blind people
- Culture jamming
- Somebody send for the Zeppelin man!
- Our new marketing scheme is nuts, not to mention c...
- Subversive plus permissive equals submissive!
- Unhappy chappy
- Draw your own conclusions
- Advice to Politicians
- Occasioned for the prime
- That wonderful, all purpose food product, mostly u...
- Poem for the day
- How to get into arguments with inanimate objects
- "Media" "Watch"
- Laxatives for leftists
- If public transport ran time travel...
- A little talk about death
- I couldn't be prouder
- Overcrowding on the trains
- Amazing technological developments!*
- One talking aping two - thoughts on some poetry by...
- The music quiz!
- Very awesome, that's what
- Interesting people who you probably haven't heard ...
- ▼ October (29)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)