1) As a demand
Walk down the footpath staring right ahead, as if you are going to go straight past the people walking the other way. At the last moment, turn your head to them and bark at them, "Happy New Year!" They will reply obediently, if not willingly.
2) As a mantra
Stand by sadly watching the fireworks go off, repeating the words over and over again in a melancholy tone. It helps to have a few drinks in you so that you get in the right mood (sorrowful drunk).
3) As a football chant
Growl it, howl it, shout it, holler it to everyone on the street, whether they care to hear it or no. This works best if you do it right in their ear.
4) Drive-by shooting
Get a designated driver. If you don't have a designated driver, any old drunk will do. Get them to speed down the middle of the busy city street. Stick your head out of the left-hand window and holler it mindlessly down the cavernous alleys and lanes.
5) As a simple wish
Shut up your shop for the day, and say the three words easily and casually at the last customers as they file out. Perhaps have one half corner of your mouth turn up in a satisfied smile (which half, depends on the weather.)
6) With a hat (a personal favourite)
Smile at one or two people as you go by, wait until they wish you it, then lift the hat off your head in brief greeting and offer it as a cheerful reply, or holy benediction (depending on whether you are an ordinary person, or priest, in that order).
7) On your blog
Happy New Year!
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2013 (173)
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- ► 2010 (288)
- Two interesting little words
- The lunch they have when they don't have lunch
- The bitter butter nutter
- Fashion tips from Tim
- Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding
- Literary criticism as a medical condition
- Yes, we still did
- Schmuck Friday
- The state of state poetry
- Multiple bipolar personality disorder
- Liveblogging the Lego Inauguration
- Words that will make transcribers across the natio...
- Haecceity! Pardon me!
- World of Warcraft limericks
- DIY Passive Aggression
- Worst thieves ever
- Always take the whether with you...
- Two essays, two words
- Sharon Gould's book of words
- The New Yorker book of numbers
- My meaningless, consumer driven life!
- What's the difference between discomfort and pain?...
- Terrible news for sex!
- Seven ways to say "Happy New Year"
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- ► 2005 (287)