kidattypewriter

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

World of Warcraft limericks

Apparently the next Bar Open poetry slam is about World of Warcraft. I'm not able to make it, but here's a bit of what I would have read out, if I could... (LE, I think you might get a kick out of this.)

World of Warcraft limericks

Pointed criticism
Like, dude, you're one stupid f*er.
You have all the brains of a heiffer.
Your shooting is awful -
You make me go ROFL -
And your comments are, like, not really clever.

A moderate and temperate response to injust criticism
LOL, man. Just LOL, man. L-O-L,
In case you found that hard to spell.
But enough of this talk -
You must now face my orc,
Who will send you to DIIIIIIIIIIIE! BURN IN HELLLLLLLLLLLL!

He encounters a fair maiden at his learning institution
I once knew this chick in my school
Who played W-O-W. That's cool.
So I said, "You a Mage?"
She said, "DDUUUH! Hundredth stage!"
Girlz totally sux. Boyz rool!

A vigorous exchange of views
"Your shooting is hopeless and dumb,
And you totally aim like my mum."
"Like the bum of a troll,
Your face makes me LOL."
"Like, dude - you look at trolls bums!"

An eccentric individual
I AM ZAXON THE DRINKER OF GORE!
LIKE TOTAL DESTROYER HARD CORE!
I EAT PUPPY BRAINS
AND SUCK CHILDREN'S VEINS
AND I
............. MUUUUUUUUUUM! Get off World of War!

A lighthearted dialogue
"You're Goatse."
---- "You're Tub Girl."
---- ---- ---- "Like, yeah!
Whatever you say, dude - I'm meh!"
"You can't make this shit up -
Watch Two Girls, One Cup."
"Like, sure dude. Right now. It's just - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Character sketch
There once was a scourge from Azeroth
Who almost no-one could bear with.
He drank too much Coke,
And lithped when he thpoke -
That hideouth thcourge from Azeroth!

Socratic discussion
A dwarf met a night orc from hell,
Who was totally NOOB in RL.
Said the orc, "SOB!"
Said the dwarf, "Hey, F* me!
IMO, you're PITA as well!"

13 comments:

TimT said...

On the other hand, what I think is a send up of juvenile internet humour could just be another example of juvenile internet humour, in which case the only person getting a kick out of it is myself.

TimT said...

All your rhymes are belong to us.

Helen said...

D00d, you are full of win.

Legal Eagle said...

Tee hee! I LOVE it. I'm going to forward them to other ex-WOW players of my acquaintance. I'm sure they'll love them too.

TimT said...

This morning I wrote three more, on the train and in the cafe, before going to work. These limericks are horribly, horribly addictive.

TimT said...

Thanks for all your nice comments!

Legal Eagle said...

To be honest, I've been thinking of WOW rhymes all morning. "tank", "gank", "Tauren", "borin'" etc... None of them are good enough to publish yet, but I'll put some on my site when I'm happy with them.

TimT said...

Yeah, the only example I got to use from WOW really was 'Azeroth, and even then I could only come up with a really crappy half rhyme.

But it's easy to rhyme with netspeak like LOL, because you either just rhyme with letters (which have simple sounds and plenty of words that rhyme with them), or have flexible pronunciations that you can massage for poetic effect (ROFL/awful).

Legal Eagle said...

So far, all I have is:

There once was an eager young tank
Who was looking for Horde to gank
He lost his head
And ended up dead
Saying, "This game is a method of auto-erotic stimulation."

Not very good.

What I really want to achieve is some kind of rhyme with LMFAO.

TimT said...

Maybe take the last two letters - 'AO' - and rhyme them with something else. 'Mayo, dayo, Bayeaux', or...

'You think you're Atreyu?
Like - LMFAO!'

Mitzi G Burger said...

LMFAO could rhyme neatly with WOW,
Thus pinching perplexity with an 'ow'!

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Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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