As I was wandering idly down the supermarket today, somewhere in the cereal aisle, where health freaks jog up and down looking for good 'half the calories for the price of one' deal, I started wondering what a weird thing breakfast cereal was. Why do we eat it? Why did we ever start eating it? I like Corn Flakes as much as the next sucker, but what are they, really? Corn Flakes don't look like corn, they don't taste like corn, and their principle ingredient is usually milk.
Some cereals don't even seem to have any active ingredients. You'd need a degree in advanced algebra just to understand the title of Special K, much less the list of ingredients. I love them and have no idea what is in them - they could be a by-product of cigarettes for all I care. I can't even pronounce the title right (I keep on calling them Special K Mart).
And Weet-Bix. What the hell are they? Especially the 'Bix' - has anyone heard of an ingredient called 'Bix'? These things are basically cuboids flavoured with wheat to keep the health freaks happy. Dad likes to mush them up in a bowl and add milk and digest them as a kind of uniform soggy brown mush. They seem to represent a significant step in the evolution of human food from organic to the cardboard box.
All in all, I don't suppose breakfast cereals serve any real purpose other than to harden a kid's stomach up for the more important and nutritious fare that he is to experience as an adult - flavoured styrofoam rings like Cheezels, and knobby coagulations of salt like Twisties. As an active eater of all these important food groups, I actively support breakfast cereal makers in this noble endeavour.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2014 (127)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- Fridge tragic challenge
- Kill! Type for Food!
- Helplines for the helpless
- Occident incident
- Technicolour technispasm!
- Be an Alfalfa man!
- Imbruglia embroigled with roigle?
- Be a role model for your children!
- Monkey's flunkey
- No, you don't
- Specubating, masterlating
- Unmedicated predications
- Brevitudinousness is the soul of witlessness
- Unspeakable! Unimaginable! Unfolding! Underpants!
- The losing of wisdom
- Bland of the dead
- Apostrophes! And coming contractions!
- Things on my kitchen shelf recently affected by th...
- Too much show, too little tell
- Just Tright
- The wit and wisdom of my Mum
- How to travel internationally without leaving home...
- ▼ February (23)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)