SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE: Order! Order! (Bangs his gavel officiously on whatever the thing is that gavels get banged on). The house will come to order!
I call on the Honourable Member for Bludgford, Mr Glowral Slurgemstein, Minister for the Opposition.
GLOWRAL SLURGEMSTEIN: (Approaching the question place) Thank you, Mr Speaker. My question is directed at the Energy Minister for the Federal Government, Ms Jernelle Traglebumster.
Hi. Haven't seen you in a while. How's it going?
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE: I call on the Energy Minister for the Federal Government, Ms Jernelle Traglebumster, to answer.
JERNELLE TRAGLEBUMSTER: (Approaching the podium) Well, that's just about the usual standard of questions I'd expect from the Opposition. Mr Speaker, the Government has a clear cut plan for Australia, and here the Opposition is wanting to drag our conversation down into gutter civilities. Well, I tell you, the Government is determined, absolutely determined to go ahead with our plan, despite - yes, despite - what the Opposition ask of us. I further call upon my Glowral Sturgemstein, the so-called 'honourable' member for Bludgford, to withdraw that question.
MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITION: Oooh! Ah! Yargh! Hwooooooar! (Waving their papers around in the air in an outraged fashion.)
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE: Order! Order! I call this house to order! Order, everyone, order order order!
Calling to speak, the Opposition's Honourable Member for Sluginthebum, Mr Topsulin Blackwater.
TOPSULIN BLACKWATER: (Coming up to speak) Your honour, Mr Speaker, this question is directed at the Minister for Infrastructure, Mr Globulins Globulins. Mr Globulins: I like milk with my tea. What about you?
MEMBERS OF THE GOVERNMENT: Yark! Faaaaarg! Huuuuurgh! (In a similarly outraged fashion to the opposition moments before.)
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE: ORDER! ORDER! There will be ORDER IN THE HOUSE! Are we going to act like the federal parliament, or a bunch of petulant schoolchildren?
MR GLOBULINS GLOBULINS: (Coming up to speak) Your honour, Mr Speaker, thank you. But I am quite happy to answer those questions of both the previous members of the opposition. Yes, it is a nice day, isn't it? And my wife's fine, thanks for asking. And that is why, THAT is why, Mr Speaker, the Government has a clear plan for Australia...
MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITION: Glooog! Baaaaah! Flumbug! (Outraged, as before, for no discernible reason)
MR GLOBULINS GLOBULINS: ... and intends to keep acting on it! (Sits down.)
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE: ORDER! ORDER! (Bangs his gavel, bang bang). Order! Order! (Bangs his gavel, bang bang!) Order, order! (Bangs his gavel, bang bang!) Bang bang! Er, I mean, order, order!
Ahem. Calling the last speaker for the opposition, Ms Maria Terrentius Splivulum, member for Glimbo.
MARIA TERRENTIUS SPLIVULUM: Thank you, Mr Speaker. My question is directed at the member for Laggerty, Mr John Fogerty-Fogerty Fogerty. Did you leave your mobile phone in my office today? And would you like to come and collect it after question time?
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE: Order! Order! (Seeing nobody is making any noise) Er, yes. I call to answer that question the member for Laggerty, Mr John Fogerty-Fogerty Fogerty.
JOHN FOGERTY-FOGERTY FOGERTY: I did. I will. And thanks.
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE: That concludes today's session of frequently asked question time in the house.
MEMBERS OF THE OPPOSITION: FAWGH! &co, &co...
MEMBERS OF THE GOVERNMENT: AWK! &co, &co...
SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE: I say, that concludes today's session, no matter how much the government or the opposition may object to it! And that is an order! Order, order! (Bangs his gavel repeatedly, to no effect)
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2014 (127)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- Sudden realisation
- Frequently asked question time in the house
- Ruth Manning-Sanders, revisited
- A community message
- Budgetary announcement
- Rapacious capitalism, coming to loot and plunder y...
- Thing hath sprung!
- Just imagine if...
- I'd like to thank me for inviting myself and all o...
- Biblical lesson of the day
- Comment extremism
- The great books, as I remember them
- Grandeur, delusions of
- Will Type For Nude
- Guest post
- Actions send out the wrong message louder than wor...
- The Chocolate Review
- Slight annoyance at Distress
- The association, disassociated
- Prone to fafflatus, but still faffable.
- That Big Thing Near Spencer Street Wot They Kick T...
- ▼ March (22)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)