Now I like breakfast cereal. A lot. So much so that I sometimes eat two bowls in the morning and another bowl in the evening. But what I don't understand, what I can't understand, is this obsession breakfast cereal manufacturers have with making it seem as fake and artificial as possible.
'Wheat', not 'weet'. 'Weet' sounds disturbingly like 'Wet', and would you like to be eating 'Wet Bix'? Also - 'Bix'. What the hell? Is that meant to be 'biscuits'? Plus, they look like cardboard turds:
Weet Bix also have a competitor called 'Vita Brits', and I don't need to tell you how many kinds of wrong are in that name.
'Nutri' is not a word, the cereal is not a grain, and as for the shape - who came up with this?
People who flunk at design class in the seventh grade could come up with something better. It's an oval, with holes in it. Why does it have holes in it? 'That's to hold the milk', argues H. at work. What's the point of that if the milk just falls out of the other side? CASE CLOSED.
These things are disgusting. Quite aside from the name (anyone who writes 'Froot' is a fruit loop), they look, feel, and taste like coloured polystyrene.
Actually, polystyrene would probably test a hell of a lot better than Froot Loops.
There are some places even a cereal conossieur won't go.
Just Right = ALL WRONG
We used to love eating this stuff as kids, but honestly. We would have been better off eating spoonfuls of sugar.
What sort of a person would name a cereal after a letter in the alphabet? I'm here for breakfast, not an algebra lesson. I just found this picture on the internet, but the 'eighty per cent fat free' is very offputting. Next time I buy this, I think I might throw some butter into every dish to make up.
On the other hand, it does keep me looking good, so I suppose that's all right.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2015 (97)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- An e! An e! My kingdom for an e!
- Unfolding workplace horror
- General observation
- What is the appropriate thing to do?
- Several words on single-word reviews
- Filing cabinets: 1; Paul Keating: 0.
- Words that sound like vomit
- Tim Tamless
- Splodgy marks on coloured paper: a review
- Cereal serial
- Cereal crimes
- Important questions
- Blog competition - Guess that song!
- And now, let's talk about something really interes...
- Brownian motion
- The Prime of the Ancient Maryner
- Confessions of Tim, vol. 3, ch. 9
- Frankly, I am appalled
- Pedant's corner
- Kids, you can do it too!
- The dreaded green shirt cluster
- I see a great need
- Things I went to on the weekend
- Five types of jobs
- ▼ April (24)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)