When will people do something about the dangers of attack and or/homicide committed upon humans by inanimate objects? Why, just in the past few days, I have:
1) Become subject to a savage and unprovoked attack upon my foot by a wall, while I was walking along and minding my own business (my business being in the opposite direction of the wall);
2) Almost been pulled under the desk by the octopus-like coils of cords and tentacles that are attached to the office computer system, perhaps to be strangled and suffocated by said coils;
3) Been brutally elbowed by the sharp-edge of a column;
4) Been shaken off my balance by a street gutter, which happened to be lurking at a level below the street, waiting for me to fall into its devious trap.
Life is full of perils and dangers at the best of times. Murderers lurk, waiting to leap upon us and throttle the very life from our throats; fearsome beasts stalk us in the dark, planning to make us their prey. These are the grim facts of our existence. But even worse are the perils posed to us by inaminate objects: for they entrap us in being exactly what we expect them to be. What could be more surprising than the base at the bottom of the stairway which we step into, expecting our foot to fall upon another stair? Or the lamp post which so smugly and coyly lurks in just the spot it has always lurked, knowing that we are about to lurch into it at any second? These inanimate objects do not even do anything to attack us: no, the danger inheres in the simple fact of their being.
Who will save us from the horrifying and dreadful attacks of inanimate objects?
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2016 (69)
- ► 2015 (106)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- ► 2010 (288)
- Languid lucubrations of a layabout lollard
- An open letter to the Universe
- The case of the ten-year-old poem
- I approve
- Sink the slipper into Flipper
- Not God, but almost
- Hark, hark, the cats do croak
- It's a pity the Athaneum didn't have authentic 19t...
- Saturday night isn't here
- Give us this day our daily toast
- Misspelling of the day
- Bulstrode Whitelocke
- A post that makes less sense than I do
- Bawhacky Ogaffama!
- Horrible, ugly, and with poor lighting
- Perhaps having raptures about prunes is excessive
- Alchemical transmutations you can do at home
- My novel in progress
- Nerbing a voun
- The dangers of inanimate objects
- ▼ July (22)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)