While I was away I went dolphin watching. Dolphins are a singularly dull creature with grey skin, because grey is the most boring colour possible. There are such things as pink dolphins, but they are grey, too. Dolphins are mammals but they live underwater, since they are rather confused about things. They spend their time underwater swimming about labouriously, and eating the occasional fish, not because they like the taste, but because they dislike the fish.
This is what dolphin watching involves: you climb to the top of a very tall hill in order to be as far away from the dolphins as possible. Once you have reached the top, you look down, far below, into the ocean, and peer into the occasional spot of white foam, and call it a dolphin.
The most famous dolphin is Flipper, who was well known some 30 years ago because he had a television show or something. These days, dolphins can be found in images on a number of soap packets that you would buy if you weren't buying other soap packets. The end.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
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- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
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- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
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- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
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- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
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- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
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