I'll give you serious! Swine flu could kill you. Worse, it could offset workplace productivity. And who wants that**? What can we do? Given that the situation could hardly get any worse, we have to do something now, before it gets any better! This is what I propose we do: we all be given a small, government-prescribed dose of swine flu before work goes back on Monday. Call it a pre-emptive seasonal flu, if you like. It would guarantee that we'd all have flu in as orderly and regulated a manner as possible. Also, we could all write letters like this in to work:
Dear So-and-So from Such-and-Such,
I am afraid that I am unable to come in to work on the following week as I am due to receive my official dose of seasonal flu upon those days.
Then again, if we all take sick leave at once, there would be no-one off sick leave to read our letters about sick leave, and we'd all get in trouble, which would be a problem. (Maybe some people would have to take well leave from sick leave?)
It's the best I can come up with at this hour of night. All right, all right, I'm going to bed.
*Or should that be official figures estimate? I'll get back to you on that one.
** Put your hand down, please, that was a rhetorical question.