I was watching A Current Affair and.... shut up! You don't think I do these things for pleasure, do you?
Anyway, I was watching A Current Affair and they ran one of their stories comparing items from different shops. This time it was supermarket breads compared to, well, breads from 'artisan bakeries'. The artisan bakery they chose from? None other than Bakers Delight.
Bakers Delight! How could you walk past them? (Quite simple really, put one foot in front of another...) I like to call them 'Bakers Despite', for no particular reason. But really, they're an artisan bakery, according to A Current Affair? Everytime I've shopped at Bakers Delight I've been forced to choose between a stale old piece of crust, and another piece of crust that is, well, crusty. Sometimes the crusty crusts have sugar slathered on them and currants jammed in them; those ones are all right. I have a whimsical fondness for sugar. The rest though? Horrible, terrible, awful, and worse.
You might remember the jaunty ad campaign BD ran a couple of years ago. They seemed to be so enamoured with that jolly, jazzy little tune they had their bakers bopping away to that they started playing it all the time, in all of their bakeries. It was nerve racking enough walking into that piece mid-tune; just imagine how angst-making it must have been for the poor kids who had to hear it bop-bop-bop-bop-bopping away all day.
Fawgh, Bakers Delight! They are to artisan bakeries what bubblegum is to pavements, what blisters are to feet, what cheap, unoriginal, shlocky-tabloid television journalism is to television. What sort of television show, exactly, might fit that bill? Oh yeah. Bakers Delight are the A Current Affair of the artisan baking world.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2015 (72)
- ► 2014 (135)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- Announcing the discovery of the internet
- Cam, saw, conquered
- New leadership! Old Labor!
- Nice paper things with words in them
- Proverbial proverb
- Lesson for today, if today is yesterday
- Sunday hat quote
- Fartisan bakeries
- Summary of a book
- A poem about liking things
- A sensible pantoum, written on the tram
- Naughty after the fact
- Fearful apprehension of mysterious events that are...
- Precious non-vanishing natural heritage
- An allsorts post, but not involving licorice
- Great scientific advances of our time
- Retro biscuits
- On underpants
- A moustache you can trust
- Australia mourns death of writer it never read
- Rejected entries for Uncle Almanac's Giant Compend...
- Patriotic songs of the world, no. umpteen hundred ...
- ▼ June (24)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)