Julia Gillard has become Australia’s first red-head Prime Minister after being elected unopposed by the Labor caucus.
What will this election mean for red-heads everywhere? We’ve certainly come a long way since the 1960s when redheads were forced to work at half pay, or the dark years of the 19th century, when redheads were forced to slave in underground uranium mines for those of the brown-headed and blonde-headed castes. Well no they didn’t, but it just reinforces the prejudices red-heads have been forced to bear, doesn’t it? It is impossible to speculate where to next for Gillard, but it is considered highly likely by experts that she will attempt to become the first red-head president of the solar system, after which she will exact a terrible toll on all non red-heads for the generations of suffering by her ranga brothers and sisters. Well that’s probably not true either. But still!
However, several well-connected Canberra figures argue that Gillard’s victory was made possible through the support of several Labor heavyweights. These include the Labor left, the Labor right, unions, and another shadowy group known as ‘women’. It is not known how many of these 'women' are in politics, but we are informed that there are even influential 'women' figures in other left and right Labor factions. These contacts even go so far as to suggest that the Labor party may hope the well-connected red-head will be popular with the Australian public because she is also our first woman Prime Minister.
Other figures, however, have dismissed these charges as baseless.
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