Timing, as the man who turns up early to work on his day off will tell you, is everything. Well, I certainly admire the sense of timing and consideration shown by Melbourne arts and event administrators, as evidenced by their scheduling over the next month: at least five separate, major calendar events are happening, and if they're not exactly happening all at once, then they're certainly trying very hard to do so.
Check it out: the Melbourne Writers Festival goes from August 27 to September 5, which overlaps with the Darebin Music Feast, going from September 4 through to September 19, which runs concurrently with the Overland Poetry Festival, going from September 10 through to September 19, not to mention the similarly scheduled SF Aussiecon, running from September 2 to September 9, with the AFL Grand Final finishing proceedings on September 25. That's an event no-one knew about, running at the same time as an event no-one wanted to go to, and an event everyone wanted to avoid, as well as an event nobody would be able to get to anyway, concluding with an event that absolutely no-one in the world would want to attend apart from everyone else (who are nobody in particular, anyway). I suppose you might say all the events administrators wanted to help no-one, in as comprehensive a manner as possible.
It looks very much like those people concerned with Melbourne events (and what a concerning thing they are) wanted to help all those people who didn't want to attend those events, not attend several of the events, all at the same time. True, their organisation wasn't perfect, and many of the events still end up occurring at different times. And if people aren't careful they might find themselves actually attending one of the events, accidentally. In a few more years time, however, hopefully we will be able to see all of the above mentioned events happen at once, in the same place, and everyone can fail to attend the events at their leisure, perhaps in a little venue just down the road from the place at which everything is happening, known as 'home'.
In the future, perhaps, updated festival programs could contain not only all events, but all competing events, that you might attend in the event that their event is not the event you wanted to turn up to, eventually. Also, for full accuracy, they should, in all fairness, schedule in the activities that you partake in at 'home' during the time that their events are running (eg: 5 pm - 6 pm, playing with bits of string dangled in front of cats, drinking cup of tea, watching telly). I certainly know what I am planning to do at the time that the planners of those festival plans have planned their plans to take place, and my plans do not coincide well with the plans of the festival planners.
One day, hopefully, cultural festivals and events will be so hard to get to, that they will be left up to cultural professionals, who are paid to attend such events, and carry on with the awesome responsibility of making this city respectable and cultural and hip and sophisticated and urban and shit. In the meantime, the rest of us can just sit around at home being uninteresting, uncultured slobs, doing boring things like writing sonnets, or listening to music, or reading books, or watching DVDs, or holding dinner parties. I certainly look forward to it.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
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- The Age of Nefarious
- Be festy! Go to festivals!
- Brief record of my thoughts
- What did Chad ever do to deserve this?
- Proposed Herald Sun article
- Godwins Law sub-clause viii
- The parable of the polls
- Badly hung parliaments
- To do list
- Preponderant ponderings on matters of chronologica...
- Crime news
- The Tim Herald
- If Bram Stoker wrote the 2010 Australian election ...
- Toothpaste ruminations
- Location location location smash bang
- If Matthew Reilly ever wrote a novel about killer ...
- They always let you down
- Gluemy meditations
- Important information
- His beard was curly-whirly
- Cheering little tomes
- You're wearing my dress, bitch!
- Kitty Katter
- The moley sonnets, v. VIII, p. 109
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