ALBANY PRIMARY SCHOOL, SATURDAY - Scandal has once again erupted during the election campaign, when Opposition Leader Tony Abbott uttered a definite article in the course of a press conference. The fatal 'the' occurred after Abbott had feasted on the brains of several journalists, offered up the heart of Annabel Crabb as a sacrifice to his zombie-demon master, and delivered copies of his just-announced education policies to the rest, and drooled witlessly over Albany School floor.
Commentators are now saying that the occurrence of Abbott's 'the' has called into question his fitness to lead, his ability to understand women voters, his integrity, the consistency of his policies, and his talents at witless drooling while saying nothing of substance whatsoever. Political advocacy group GetUp! has already released a five minute video of women saying the definite article 'the' over and over again in a patronising tone, and several union and Labor attack ads are also said to be on the way.
However, the attention of the media may already have been distracted due to the release of yet leaked Labor document. The document, apparently transcripts of a Labor cabinet meeting, feature several Cabinet members screaming in a horrified and tortured fashion, and Gillard and Rudd gargling meaninglessly as they feast on their carcasses. According to several media reports, the Labor leak calls into question Labor's stability, capability of dealing with fine policy details, its economic credentials, and commitment to whatever it is that cannibalistic monsters with anthropophagic tendencies are supposed to be committed to.
Whatever the public may conclude about all these definite articles, Labor leaks, et cetera, one thing is clear: Australian democracy is the real winner.
UPDATE! - While we're talking politics, this just occurred to me: since Julia Gillard's so eager for debates, why doesn't she debate herself? Real Julia v. Fake Julia. I'd watch it.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2014 (92)
- ► 2013 (173)
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- The Age of Nefarious
- Be festy! Go to festivals!
- Brief record of my thoughts
- What did Chad ever do to deserve this?
- Proposed Herald Sun article
- Godwins Law sub-clause viii
- The parable of the polls
- Badly hung parliaments
- To do list
- Preponderant ponderings on matters of chronologica...
- Crime news
- The Tim Herald
- If Bram Stoker wrote the 2010 Australian election ...
- Toothpaste ruminations
- Location location location smash bang
- If Matthew Reilly ever wrote a novel about killer ...
- They always let you down
- Gluemy meditations
- Important information
- His beard was curly-whirly
- Cheering little tomes
- You're wearing my dress, bitch!
- Kitty Katter
- The moley sonnets, v. VIII, p. 109
- ▼ August (27)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)