kidattypewriter

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Kitty Katter

This ad for Bob Katter is cute, but I think it needs a slight rewrite:



When Kennedy needs a strong politician
When a battle requires a man on a mission
Just like Chernobyl needs some nuclear fission
When the roads are flooded and the cyclones blowin
When our farmers are down and the crops just aint growin
When yer pants are down and yer arse crack's showin
When there’s crocs on the loose or a cow’s gone astray,
Yer property rights are being stripped away
When the fruit needs pickin when its dark in the mines
When its tight on the till or yer stop at the signs

When yer nose needs pickin but it’s too dark to see
When the loo’s got a hole and it can’t hold yer pee
When you need someone who can put up a fight
A voice in Canberra that stands up for what’s right
Bob’s on the job all day and all night.
DON'T VOTE FOR KATTER! HE'S ABSOLUTE SHITE!
(Via The Punch)

7 comments:

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

Excellent. I especially like the use of a slightly more svelt and shapely body double for all the shots where we don't have to see Mr Bob Sir's face.

TimT said...

My main regret about this video is it doesn't show Katter physically wrestling crocs to the ground.

TimT said...

I like that whole line about the crocs actually - 'When a crocs on the loose or a cow's gone astray'. Particularly that sweet little detail about the cow. As if a cow astray is a danger on par with a croc on the loose. "That there's our heiffer Daisy. Don't turn your back on here though - SHE'LL EAT YOU!"

Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

The homicidal tendencies of cows are grossly underappreciated.

TimT said...

Don't turn your back on Daisy.
She's psychotically crazy.

Old farmers rhyme.

Mitzi G Burger said...

If Bob opened a branch of the NSW Cat Protection Society, he could call it The Kattery. Not sure what he has going for him beyond the name (much as I appreciate farming.)

TimT said...

Good point Mitzi.

This poem of course is Katterwauling (harking back to a previous post.)

I feel like I should add another line in there:

When your pet bunnies escaped and left poo on the rug,
When you're lonely and just feel you need a hug...


etc.

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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