For the last year or so I've been working in a little corner to the back of the office, with a window fronting on to a laneway. The office that I work in sounds more or less like an office should, the corner that I sit in sounds more or less like any corner would, but the laneway that the window looks out over sounds, unfortunately, very much like a laneway. The laneway comes complete with trucks that sound very much like trucks should, a warehouse that sounds very much like a warehouse should, and objects being vigorously unloaded from the warehouse that sound very much like objects being vigorously unloaded from any old warehouse, anywhere in the world, should. In case you are in any doubt what vigorous unloading sounds like, several onomatopaeic terms should convey to you a general sense of these sounds, and their effect on your auricular cavities:
Got that? So as you can imagine, this tends to have an effect on the, ahem, high quality documents that I'm banging up from the radio or television at any one time:
VERY IMPORTANT POLITICIAN: And I can reveal to you today SMASHCLATTERCLUTTERCLATTERNOISELOUDSMASH fiscal expenditure BLAMSLAMBLAMSLAMRATTLEBATTLEWARHURTDISORDERCLATTERCLITTERSHATTER and so you can see, there is absolutely no doubt at all that my party are absolute and utter economic and political geniuses, and you should vote for us immediately.
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Wow. You've convinced me.
ANGRY MAN: And so Mister SLAMBLAMCLATTER is actually HURTWOUNDSHATTER and also RATTLERATTLERATTLERATTLEBANGBANGSLAMBANG not to mention a BLAMSLAMCRASH did I just say that on radio?
RADIO ANNOUNCER: Yes, I think you just did.
ANGRY MAN: Whoops.
It's just a pity it hasn't happened more in pieces of this nature:
A CERTAIN FORMER PRIME MINISTER: Fair suck of the sauce bottle, Ms Reporter, can I just say this [INSERT SEVERAL MINUTES OF RATTLECLATTERBANG] programmatic specif [SEVERAL MORE MINUTES OF SAME] thank you for your time today, it's been a pleasure.
Tim, your links stink, you fink!
- John Bangsund's Threepenny Planet
- Broken Biro
- Poetry 24
- Superlative scribbles
- Kirstyn McD!
- Rorrim a tsomla almost a mirror
- More Sterne
- Cam the man from the Dan.
- Too hot to Raaaaaaandallllllll!
- Erin's Excellently Everlasting Effervescements!
- Slammy Infamy
- Hail Paco!
- Baron Blandwagon, purveyor of cyberbunnies, hawker of Roger Corman, and Misruler of the Multiverse
- The Bolta. Aiyeeeeee!!!!!
- Bad Apple Audrey
- The cartoon church
- Sir Martinkus
- A Zemblanian abroad and at home
- A hodge podge of hotzeplotz
- THE SLAMMA!
- Jottlesby's nottings, or should that be Nottlesby's jottings?
- The Snarking of the Hunt
- Jazzy Hands
- David of Metal City
- David the Barista
- The Blogger on the Cast Iron Balcony
- Be an Opinion Dominion Minion!
- ... and Fel
- His brilliant career - from whale sushi to crumbed prawn
- Jo Blogs
- Yet another Tim
- Was two peas, now three peas
- ... Still Life - now with extra rotating cats!
- An Amazingly Awesome Australian Ampersand!
- Blink and you'll miss 'er
- Red in the land of the tigers!
- Wire of Vibe
- Chase him, ladies, he's in the cavalry!
- The Non-palindromical Editrix in Germanium
- Old Sterne
- The briefs...
- ... and the brieflets
- The Purple Blog
- Blairville, lair of all that is wicked and perfidious
- The enticingly acronymical CSH
- EXTREEEEEEEME WYNTER!
- Mark of California
- Silent Speaking
- Lexicon the Mexican
- ► 2012 (275)
- ► 2011 (261)
- The Age of Nefarious
- Be festy! Go to festivals!
- Brief record of my thoughts
- What did Chad ever do to deserve this?
- Proposed Herald Sun article
- Godwins Law sub-clause viii
- The parable of the polls
- Badly hung parliaments
- To do list
- Preponderant ponderings on matters of chronologica...
- Crime news
- The Tim Herald
- If Bram Stoker wrote the 2010 Australian election ...
- Toothpaste ruminations
- Location location location smash bang
- If Matthew Reilly ever wrote a novel about killer ...
- They always let you down
- Gluemy meditations
- Important information
- His beard was curly-whirly
- Cheering little tomes
- You're wearing my dress, bitch!
- Kitty Katter
- The moley sonnets, v. VIII, p. 109
- ▼ August (27)
- ► 2009 (290)
- ► 2008 (316)
- ► 2007 (392)
- ► 2006 (373)
- ► 2005 (287)