kidattypewriter

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

You are a cat #2

You are a cat, of course, and you are one of the most beautiful creatures in the colossal, eternal entirety of the universe. Bridget Bardot, Claudia Schiffer, and all that lot, have got nothing on you. Supermodels? Stupermodels, more like! Just look at you, fur rippling and glistening in the waves of wind and sunlight. And keep looking at you. Excellent.

Right over there is a patch of mud and lichen and grass. It looks particularly dirty, smelly, and ugly. This would, naturally, be an excellent spot for you (superdupermodel) to go over and roll around in, showing off the entirety of your beauty to the universe in general.

Hey, I've got another one. As you're rolling around luxuriously in that licheny-muddy-grassy bit, you see a cockroach running by. Why not pick it up in your mouth and walk around with it for a bit? You'd never see a supermodel walking around with a cockroach in their mouths, would you? More fool them. Such actions are an enhancement to your natural elegance and should be displayed, again, to the entire universe.

5 comments:

Ampersand Duck said...

Yairs, indeed. And after I've finished toyed with the marvellous cockroach, I'm going eat a piece of grass, then saunter inside and find the best-looking spot on your precious rug and throw the grass back up, along with a mass of undigested crunchies.

We must preserve our figures, after all.

TimT said...

So anyway, apparently a crazy cat gentlemen stole my blog off me and 'funny and cute things my cat did' will be the theme from now on. I'm good with that. Just so long as he doesn't start posting lolcats.

Mitzi G Burger said...

My favourite new phrasal nomenclature for a cat is a 'zen ball', although my favourite cat is more of a Zen Coissant.

TimT said...

'Om' is 'Miaou' backwards. Well, close enough, 'uoaim' is actually 'miaou' backwards. But nobody could blame those Buddhist monks for not spelling 'Om' correctly, correct spelling hadn't been invented then.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry, the crazy cat gentleman shall have to attend to other duties soon:

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/cat_vs_internet

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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