Friday, February 04, 2011

Contemperaneous and relevating

Slightly altered poems, for the person who said Romantic poetry was not interesting and relevant enough for modern times

Wee, sleekit, cowrin tim’rous beastie mozzie
O what a panic's in thy breastie Aye how tiny, aye how buzzy
Thou need na start awa sae hastyWhy must ye act like sich a hussy
Wi bickering brattle! And flee my clap
I wad be laith to rin an' chase thee By nesting still within my cozzie,
Wi murd'rin pattle! To spite my slap?

"To a Mouse", Robert Burns

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulnessSeason of salt and battered heart attacks…

"To Autumn", John Keats

Young Lochinvar Pam Anderson is come out of the west
Through all the wide border his name is the best…
Something something something something something something something breast.

"Lochinvar", Walter Scott

Tiger! Tiger! Burning bright!
In the forests X Box of the night
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?
Quick! Guns out! Fucker, die!

"Tiger", William Blake

Fair fa’ your honest sonsie face
Great chieftain Great CEO o’ the puddin’ burger race
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place
Painch, tripe, or thairm - soft serve and fries
Weel are ye wordy o' a grace
As lang’s my arm Large as my thighs!

"Address to a Haggis Big Mac", Robert Burns


Alexis, Baron von Harlot said...

O Rose, thou art fully sick.

TimT said...

I met a traveller from Burger King
Who said, "Dude! Check out the deal on onion rings!"

Vulpine said...

When all at once I saw a crowd, a host of golden MacDonalds.

Mitzi G Burger said...

She walks in beauty like the night
on platform boots at such great height. (Homeboy Byron)

TimT said...

Loverly, keep 'em comin'.

Vulpine said...

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore -
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
A teenage hoodie gently rapping, to a ringtone from his i-pod
Baggy pants and arse half showing, cap on backwards, little sod
How I wish he’d bugger off.

TimT said...

You remind me of this fun little Poe-imitation I saw recently:

Email: timhtrain - at -

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