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Monday, November 28, 2011

Scientists stunned at discovery of South Morang

MELBOURNE, MONDAY - with the completion of the Epping Rail line extension, scientists have been stunned at the discovery that South Morang actually exists.

"We just thought it was a myth! The stories were always contradictory, and seemed to derive from old folk traditions", says Edith Blithers, Doctor of Professorships at Melbourne University.

Rail technicians had intended to keep the rail line extension going indefinitely, but had to make a rapid change of plans when the train lines hit South Morang. "It just, like, sprang up out of nowhere!" says Blithers.

The outlying suburb with the name which sounds like something you make out of sugar and egg whites, had long been the subject of local Melbourne folk stories, often involving bunyips, and yowies, and people who vote for the Coalition.

This is not the first time inner-city boffins, who mostly spend their time quaffing lattes in cafes, have been surprised in this way. In 2007, scientists were shocked to discover that, far from being a mystical vale whence medieval kings and knights were taken by beauteous faerie maidens, Avalon was actually a place full of concrete where they landed planes. And in 2010, after surveying the results of the latest particle accelerator experiment, quantum physicists had to revise their calculations regarding the probable existence of the Melbourne suburb of Pakenham, from 'barely possible' to 'likely'.

Now, thanks to this latest great discovery, people from North Melbourne to Northcote will have to revise their description of South Morang from 'place that doesn't exist' to 'place which probably does exist but I may never visit'.

UPDATE! - National Party wins second term in Mordor New Zealand, surprising many Australians who had previously thought that Sauron John Key didn't allow elections.

7 comments:

Tony said...

Scientists will be even more stunned at the discovery of Morang (Vic).

TimT said...

Oh my... you mean it is like the Higgs Boson particle, it actually does exist?

epicormicgrowth said...

Imagine my delight at reading this post whilst standing on ground formally gazetted to lie within the bounds of South Morang, a place I have been to many times despite my pretensions at being a latte-sipping inner city type (who just can't afford to live south of Bell St). I have tried in vain for many years to find Morang, presuming it to be just north of, well, South Morang, but found only Mernda. I have, however, been to Marong but that's another story entirely...

Marong is, I think a little like Schrodinger's cat.

epicormicgrowth said...

oops. that last comment was meant to refer to Morang. Marong undoubtedly exists - though more dead than alive.

TimT said...

There's South Morang, Morang, Marong, Kerang, and Wandong.

Not to mention Grong Grong. Anyone been to Grong Grong?

epicormicgrowth said...

no, never been to Grong Grong but have been to Won Wron...

TimT said...

Great place to eat wontons, Won Wron, I hear.

Email: timhtrain - at - yahoo.com.au

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