Monday, February 11, 2013

Questions inevitably raised by may latest foray into the world of postmodern televisual pop-culture

The Baron and I have been working our way through the complete Buffy box set. I'm surprised by both how much of it I've already seen and how much of it I've missed out on. A great show; the only way I can express my feelings about it is in free verse...
Questions raised by Buffy Season Three

O Faith O Faith why are you so bad
For just because your Watcher got killed and you almost got killed by a vampire too and you lacked an authority figure and you started acting out and then you accidentally killed a man and then Angel chained you up and you decided to work for the Mayor instead that's no excuse
O Mayor O Mayor what can I say
Even though you sold your soul and became immortal and then performed dark magics and became invincible and turned into a giant scaly dragon and then had to be blown up with the rest of the High School you still had feelings
Why didn't you ever realise that there's more to life than politics just as there is more to politics than life
And just who the hell is Gavrok anyway
O Angel O Angel
O your pouty lips O Angel those sad eyes O I will always be here for you Angel O Angel you are so handsome O kiss me O no I forgot O Angel
For though you are a vampire who has been cursed with a soul and then you became evil and then good again but Buffy had to send you to a hell dimension then you came back and then you got poisoned and then you almost died until you drank her blood in a willing consentual way
Where did it all go wrong
O Xander when you saved the school from being blown up what was that guys name that tried to blow it up the guy that was already dead
I forget that bit
O Willow O Xander O Cordelia O Xander O Buffy O Angel O Willow O Xander O Willow O Xander O Giles O Joyce O Angel O Buffy O Willow O Xander O Cordelia O Angel O Buffy O Faith O Xander O Oz O Willow O No
O Buffy
You are a strong powerful affirmative role model for women everywhere
And you have mystical abilities granted to you by ancient sorcerors from time immemorial which leads to your tragic but wonderful adventures in Sunnydale on the Hellmouth
Is this covered in a chapter of Germaine Greer do you know
O Anya
That time when you tried to bring your demon powers back
And you bought Evil Willow into our world
You really buggered up that time didn't you
O Amy
I want you to know I really respect you both as a woman and as a rat
O Evil Willow
Just how did you get to be that way anyway
O yeah you were in an alternative dimension
But crime doesn't pay
O kindly professor guy in a bow tie
Whose name I forget
It was your sad fate to be the discoverer of a plot device which proved instrumental in the unfolding drama of the final episode which meant unfortunately that you were killed early in the proceedings and I felt really sorry for you
Even though I forget your name
That goes for you too
O Joss Whedon


Baron von Harliquince said...

I have one word to say to you: wedding cake slayers.

TimT said...

Well they just put a very chintzy wooden stake through my little ol' heart.

Davoh said...

Heh ... or should that be "Meh". Elderish self gets a bit confused by the exact meaning of shorthand internet communication .. wry grin.

(PS. '1828' is not a word .... neither is ttralgi .. but hey,whatever it takes).

Email: timhtrain - at -

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