Taking literally laterally

I was literally sitting down a few minutes ago when the news that "According to the dictionary, "literally" now also means "figuratively"" hove figuratively into view.

At first, I wasn't sure how to take the news. Now that "literally" literally means "figuratively", does "figuratively" also get to literally mean "literally"? Literally? Does this also mean that "literally" figuratively means "figuratively" and "figuratively" figuratively means "literally", or would that be literally taking a figurative, er, figure of speech too far? Could I even trust the literal seat that I was literally sitting down upon anymore? Just how literally figurative are we supposed to take this figuratively literal equivalence, anyway?

Personally, I literally had ants in my pants, was jumping for joy, and was over the moon about this. But figuratively? Well - I suppose I was quite excited.