Biblical ethics for politicians

From the lesser known Big Fat Lies translation of the Bible. 

"Be as sly as serpents, and as gentle as serpents."

"If someone strike thee, (and they be of a more powerful faction), turn the other cheek."

"But of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, thou mayst not eat, save that there be no media present."

"Render unto Caesar that which is Caesars, and render unto Caesar that which is yours as well."

"Yea, I am sending thee out as wolves amongst sheep."

"Do not let your right hand know what your left hand is doing, unless you can get a minor boost in the polls by doing it, in which case, go right ahead."